Monday back to the grindstone, not a bad morning, dull and overcast and the forecast is for sporadic showers. Got in early and straight into getting the route ready for delivery. Everything ready, and a little time to spare before heading off to my starting point. I decide to go to the canteen to have cup of tea. I open the door and sitting at one of the tables are the 3 experts on soccer known as the panel. The conversation is mainly about those teams who are on the planes home after failing at the first few jumps.

England, Italy, France, is the ones who come in for the most criticism from the panel. According to the Solomon’s at the table the French were not happy with the Manager the Italians didn’t give a hoot one way or the other, and the English were upset because they had feck all to do all day and their wives partners and girl friends were barred from their luxury hotel. They agreed that Ireland should have been at the finals instead of France and that England had been robbed of a legimate goal at a vital time in the crunch clash with Germany and that the Italians were just not interested.

I was just about to challenge the cosy cartel and give them some of my superior knowledge but at the last second I made up my mind to hold my whisht. I am not a soccer fan and I did not wish to become involved in a petty dispute with the 3 wise men so I held my council. As the Mammy used to say a closed mouth catches no flies.

I have only on one occasion seen the panel involved in a game of soccer. This was a number of years ago and it was a match between our office and another office in the civil service cup.

 Two of the panel were playing and the third was managing the team. One of the panel played in goal and the other was placed in midfield. The chap placed in goal unfortunately was just 5 ft 4 inches and in the first 20 minutes 3 shots went over his head and into the net. When the Manager was asked by one of our supporters why he had placed his friend in goal he replied that he heard he was good in the air. The other one the midfield general wasn’t exactly blessed with speed not surprising when you actually seen his knobbly knees with better legs to be seen in a box of Kentucky fried chicken after a few pints.  The Queen Mary would have turned quicker in Southampton docks than this particular individual.

Now I am no expert on soccer but if Ireland couldn’t beat the French or Italians they had no business been at the Finals. The English lads did not like their luxury hotel and 6 hours work over a month was a bridge to far for these posers.

People should remember that these guys are been paid 150,000 Euros per week to play football it would take me 5 years to earn that. The French players would have been better off in a crèche because they behaved like a load of crybabies, and the Italians must have thought it was time for a siesta.

I have just a few little facts that all the experts on our local panel seem to have missed. Two German players Klose and Poldolski have only scored 4 goals between them in the last year in all the matches in the bunesliega  league  yet in the world cup they have managed to score 4 goals in a handful of games at the World Cup.

By the same token Wayne Rooney has scored more than 40 goals in the past year for his club but failed to score in 4 world Cup matches. Klos e was the leading scorer in the last 2 World Cups so it might be horses for courses is the benchmark

Forget about the World Cup, Wimbledon and all the other sports for prima donnas and turn your attention to a real man’s game the Munster Hurling Final in Semple Stadium.

Picture the scene a ball dropping from the skies the goalmouth, a forest of hurleys raised, attempting to strike and just at that vital moment a spring heeled defender rises above the throng clutches the ball in one hand and bounds out of the goal area.

Throws the ball onto the hurley solos out repelling shoulder after shoulder charge and when he gets a bit of room opens his shoulders and gives the ball an almighty belt toward the other end of the pitch. That’s what are coming up and the mammy and me will be there with the big fry in us before leaving for the stadium and the big thick ham sandwiches and flask to sustain us for the epic.

You can keep your Soccer, Tennis and all these other excuses for sports and go and see a real man’s game.

Up the Deise